Dating advice does he like you
I always ask my clients “What’s your partner’s most valuable asset – other than her portfolio?
” The correct answer is “consistency” – and consistent is what people with a history of BPD are not.
I use the pronoun his because more women are diagnosed with BPD; men instead earn the label antisocial much easier.
Interesting enough, it is frequently the healthier mate seeking therapy to relieve himself from the immense relational pressures.
Often the individual with BPD threatens self-harm or cuts to release tension.
She will relentlessly reach out and obsessively try to reestablish the broken bond if the healthy mate decides to break up with her.
What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.
Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.
This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.
Remember we all have personality traits, which does not make us personality disordered.
Notoriously famous personality disorders discussed in films, courts, and domestic disputes are all part of the dramatic-erratic cluster: The Narcissist, The Antisocial, The Individual with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or a combination of two: Antisocial Narcissistic and/or Borderline Narcissistic.